You already feel bad enough that your marriage is on the rocks, and now you realize you must tell the kids about your divorce. After all, it’s only fair for parents to be truthful with their children — even if the news is less than ideal.
But how does one go about having that conversation? What should be said, and what shouldn’t?
Telling the kids about divorce? Start with these basic rules …
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Tell them together
When possible, it’s always best for you and your spouse to be there in the same room to tell the kids about your divorce. Not only are you presenting a united front by doing this, but it allows both your voices to be heard as you explain what is happening. Telling them together also helps your kids realize that mom and dad still love them. Sometimes this isn’t possible, but it’s a good practice when it is.
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Be cordial to your spouse
Telling the kids about your divorce is a sensitive conversation. Therefore, you and your spouse must avoid belittling each other, arguing, placing blame, or forcing the kids to pick sides. Keep calm, avoid showing negative emotions, and remain focused on what your kids need to know in that moment.
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Keep the details simple
Depending on how old your kids are, decide beforehand what you’ll say, keep things simple, don’t get into the gory details of your breakup, and ensure that any details you share are age-appropriate.
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Be prepared for questions and tears
Kids are naturally curious, so be ready for a laundry list of questions and possibly a few tears as they process what is happening. They will likely want to know where they’ll live, what spending time with each of you might look like, and if any of what’s happening is their fault. Be honest, even if you don’t know the answers to some of their questions yet. It is up to you and your spouse to answer their questions and show them patience.
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Make sure they know it’s not their fault
Kids will automatically assume your divorce is their fault. Be very clear that it is not their fault. Reassure them that they are loved and safe.
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Consider doing this in the context of therapy
Having a trained, outside party to assist with these conversations can be very beneficial for kids.
Christman | Daniell, has a unique and refreshing approach to the often turbulent and emotionally stressful disputes arising in the context of divorce, child custody, and other family law cases. Our firm anchors its representation and legal advice in principles and philosophies that focus on the long-term best interests of children and families. We are committed to supporting and guiding you through the dark days of marital discord and crisis.
Please call Christman | Daniell for your legal needs today!
Looking for family law services in Collin County, Texas? Christman | Daniell is your premier choice. With years of experience and a deep understanding of the legal landscape, our skilled team is dedicated to helping families navigate complex legal matters. Whether it’s divorce, child custody, or adoption, trust Christman | Daniell to provide compassionate and effective representation for all your family law needs throughout Collin County.
