As the middle-aged couple watched with pride as their youngest child graduated from college, they couldn’t help but remind each other that they were officially “empty nesters.” From here on out, it would be just them in the house. While the idea of a quiet house enticed them and gave them ideas of what they could do together moving forward, the reality was much different in the months and years to follow. They each felt lonely without their kids around. On top of that, they surprisingly spent less time together and found it challenging to make time for one another. As time passed, these feelings—commonly known as empty nest syndrome—worsened and made them worry if this significant life change would eventually lead to a divorce.
Empty nest syndrome is extremely common and impacts married couples in many ways. Is it a precursor to divorce? Absolutely not. That said, empty nest syndrome can lead to divorce if you don’t recognize the warning signs and work together to fix it.
More About Empty Nest Syndrome
Most people might argue that empty nest syndrome doesn’t last forever. Eventually, you adapt to not having the kids around. You also adapt to leaning on each other more. This is true—but what if things don’t go as planned? It has been suggested that it can take between 18 months and two years for parents to adjust to not having their kids in the house. In the meantime, their marriage begins to suffer. Here are a few factors that can raise the risk of divorce during this stage of your marriage:
Re-Evaluating the Relationship.
With the kids gone, couples may see their relationship differently and question if they still share the same vision for the future.
Different Interests and Goals.
After years of putting their energy into parenting, some couples have developed different interests and priorities that become even more evident after the kids move out.
Re-Discovering Individual Identity.
The empty nest stage often encourages parents to rediscover their individual identities. However, the problem occurs when their identities don’t fit who they are now.
Communication Gaps.
For years, they have communicated as parenting partners. Now, they are spouses again. Communication issues or emotional distance may develop in a quiet house.
Midlife Crisis.
As if empty nest syndrome wasn’t bad enough, this is a typical time for many to go through a midlife crisis. A desire for significant changes characterizes a midlife crisis. One of these changes may include divorce.
Dealing with the Empty Nest.
The emotional effects of an empty nest can cause feelings of loneliness that make it hard for some couples to reconnect without the common goal of parenting.
Unresolved Relationship Issues.
Any unresolved problems ignored while raising children can arise again when the kids leave, causing renewed tension between the couple.
The good news is that all is lost. While some couples find the empty nest transition difficult, others find ways to strengthen their relationship. Open communication, support, and counseling can help you adjust and grow closer in this new stage. If doubts about the future remain, consider consulting a trusted family law attorney for guidance.
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