One of the most difficult things about divorce when children are involved is working out visitation schedules. While child custody can be a complex legal issue, in most cases, co-parenting ensures both parents can maintain a loving relationship with their child post-divorce. That is, of course, unless your child refuses visitations. When a child refuses visitation, it happens more often than you might think, and many times, it is through no fault of either parent. When faced with this scenario, what do you do?
These helpful tips can guide you through the situation with grace and compassion.
Try This If Your Child Refuses Visitation With The Other Parent
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Talk about the reasons with your child
Having an open, honest conversation with your child about their reasons for not wanting to visit their other parent is a great place to start. Staying positive while understanding their reasoning will go a long way, too. Often, a child needs to be encouraged or reassured about their insecurities or unwillingness to leave their home for an extended period, which is perfectly understandable. Children often feel caught in the middle and may internally blame one parent.
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Have a conversation with your former spouse
Another open, honest conversation should happen with your ex. They may not even know there is a visitation issue and that your child doesn’t wish to cooperate. They can offer some insight into the situation at their house that will help you figure out the problem. Working together shows your child that you are still a loving family, even in the face of divorce.
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Notify your attorney
The custodial parent might have legal and physical custody of the child, including the authority to make major decisions about the child’s upbringing. However, missing scheduled visitation with the other parent could have legal consequences, and you need to ask your attorney how to handle the situation. Everyone should remain on the same page in these situations.
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Consult a counselor
In the event you are involved in a high-conflict divorce, your child may have very valid reasons for refusing visitation with the other parent. If you are not putting your child in danger by spending time with your ex, your child may benefit from talking to a counselor to work through their feelings and hesitancy.
While forcing a child into an unwelcoming or unsafe environment is never a good solution, working to resolve or eliminate the problem will let your child know they are safe, loved, and protected and have two parents who value their time together. Remind your child that spending time with their other parent is important to the relationship. It is good for the parents and them.
Your children need to know they have two parents who love them and have their best interests at heart, and keeping those times together sacred will give them peace of mind and a sense of security.
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