Divorce is one of the most stressful events you will experience. But divorce that involves children adds so much more stress. As divorced parents, your life is being turned upside down, and almost everything you know and value is changing. When you add children to the equation, complications quadruple, and co-parenting becomes challenging.
For instance, you may think everything will go smoothly when you cross paths at shared events. Or you may think you can avoid getting into these shared event situations. The truth is, neither is accurate.
Co-parenting requires patience, communication, and compromise. Shared events such as recitals, baseball games, and birthdays can be challenging, but here are a few tips to make the most of these situations.
6 Tips All Divorced Parents Should Follow at Shared Events
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Start with a pleasant greeting.
There’s nothing worse than sitting at an event where your ex is trying to figure out the best way to say hello or skip acknowledging you altogether. Giving a friendly (or at least polite) greeting will break the ice and ease the awkwardness for everyone.
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Make sure your children see you both interacting in a friendly manner.
Something we often do not like to think about is that your children are watching your every move when you and your ex end up in the same place. They want to ensure the event you are there to see is the most important thing, not creating tension that will distract from the primary purpose. Set a good example when these situations arise.
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Sit near each other.
Your children will also be looking for whether you are enjoying this event. You are there because of your children, and it is not the time to make the children pick which parent they want to look for or sit with. Think about the bigger picture here.
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Do not disparage the other parent if they cannot attend the event.
Many articles and previous posts have cautioned against this, but always remember that speaking ill of your ex will never end well. Your job as divorced parents is to keep the peace and foster a loving relationship between everyone.
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Avoid discussing issues you might be dealing with.
One of the most frustrating components of a divorce is being unable to agree on one or more issues. As a result, you may still harbor resentment long after the divorce is finalized, and it may be tempting to bring up those issues in a public setting. Please don’t. Focus your attention as divorced parents on your children and being in the moment with them.
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Plan ahead to avoid confusion.
When you know a shared event is coming, plan your arrival time, where you will sit, who will bring the child, and what they will need for the event. Planning ahead ensures everything goes smoothly and eliminates the chance of conflict and confusion.
These rules will help prioritize your child’s well-being and ensure a respectful environment at shared events.
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