When many people think of infidelity in a marriage, their minds automatically leap to adultery. In other words, one spouse was physically or emotionally unfaithful to the other, and it resulted in a divorce. And it’s easy to see why they think this way. After all, roughly 60% of divorced couples cited infidelity as the reason for their divorce. However, the reality is that while cheating is common, there are other forms. For instance, what about financial infidelity?
Financial infidelity happens when one spouse hides or misrepresents financial information from the other. This can include hiding spending activity, debt, and income. While not the same as adultery, financial infidelity breeds similar feelings of betrayal. The consequences can be severe and often lead to divorce.
Common Signs of Financial Infidelity
Here are a few ways financial infidelity can manifest itself:
- Expenses that can’t be explained. Seeing charges on shared accounts or credit cards that you don’t recognize.
- Secret credit cards. You may discover credit card accounts you knew nothing about.
- Hidden bank accounts. You may also discover bank accounts you didn’t open and can’t identify.
- Frequent cash withdrawals. If your spouse goes to a cash-only system, it may be a sign of financial infidelity.
- Lack of transparency. Questions and concerns are met with vague or even defensive answers.
- Avoiding conversations about finances. Your partner is unwilling to discuss finances or budgets. They may also refuse to discuss future financial planning.
What Are the Repercussions of Financial Infidelity?
When you discover your spouse has been hiding money or secretly spending money you did not know about, it’s challenging not to allow deep-seated mistrust to creep into the relationship. Once mistrust takes hold, communication breaks down, and tension and stress build up. When stress builds up, arguments and resentment become everyday occurrences. If a marriage is defined by resentment and mistrust, many couples ultimately divorce.
When you have concerns about financial infidelity in your marriage, honest conversations, and complete transparency are the ideal solutions. Of course, this can often be easier said than done. If you’re having difficulty resolving these issues alone, perhaps marriage counseling or money management coaching could help.
If trust cannot be rebuilt and your issues cannot be resolved, the best option may be to part ways.
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