When you are going through a divorce, advice will come from everywhere. Friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers will offer “well-meaning” advice. While some of it may be helpful, much of it can do more harm than good. Divorce is deeply personal, and what worked for someone else may not be the right approach for you.
To help you navigate the noise, here are seven pieces of divorce advice you should absolutely take with a grain of salt and perhaps even ignore altogether.
1. Just take everything you can get.
Divorce is not about “winning.” Approaching it with a “take-all-you-can” mentality can lead to unnecessary conflict, legal complications, and long-term emotional strain—especially if children are involved. Aim for fairness and focus on what truly matters to you rather than trying to clean out your ex.
2. No need to hire a lawyer. You can figure it out on your own.
Even if your divorce is extremely simple and amicable, skipping legal representation is a risky move. Divorce law is complex, and missing something important could cost you financially or legally down the road. Even if you and your spouse agree on most things, having a lawyer in your corner protects your interests.
3. Do not worry about the paperwork. It will work itself out later.
Divorce comes with a mountain of forms, deadlines, and legal steps. Putting off paperwork or assuming someone else will handle it can cause major delays or errors. Always keep copies, follow up on deadlines, and make sure everything is filed properly. This is especially true when it comes to custody, property, or support agreements.
4. Use the kids to get what you want.
This is unethical and can backfire terribly. Courts look unfavorably on parents who manipulate children or involve them in legal battles. Kids are not bargaining chips, and putting them in the middle of your divorce can cause lasting emotional damage. Always act in their best interest, even when emotions are running high.
5. You should start dating right away. Time to get back out there!
Everyone heals differently. Some people are ready to date soon after a split, while others need more time. Don’t feel pressured to move on before you’re emotionally ready. Jumping into a new relationship too quickly can confuse your kids and complicate the divorce process, especially if custody is still being decided.
6. Just quit your job so you will not have to pay support.
This advice can have serious legal consequences. Intentionally reducing your income to avoid paying child or spousal support is called voluntary impoverishment, and judges see right through it. The court can still calculate support based on your earning potential, not just your current income. Honesty and transparency are always the better path.
7. They will never find out if you hide money or assets.
Trying to hide income, bank accounts, or property during a divorce might seem clever, but it will likely backfire. Courts take financial disclosure seriously, and hiding assets can result in penalties, loss of credibility, and an unfavorable settlement. Full transparency protects you legally and helps the process move more smoothly.
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Please consult an attorney for advice about your situation. The material on this website and in this or any blog article we publish is for informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal advice. The attorneys at Christman | Daniell believe in tailoring legal advice and solutions to your circumstances.
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