Your divorce is almost official, and you have what you hope is a solid co-parenting plan that puts your children first and ensures they maintain relationships with both parents. But there’s one problem — your spouse is one of the most toxic people you’ve ever met.
Perhaps they are masters at gaslighting you and refusing to follow schedules you both agreed to in advance.
Maybe they always talk negatively about you, make decisions without you, manipulate every situation, and never put the kids first.
Even worse, you expect them to argue over everything — from parenting time to important decisions and every little detail in between.
If you have a toxic ex, it’s only natural to feel as if all the hard work to create a co-parenting plan will go down the drain. After all, successful co-parenting requires both parents to participate and work together to raise their children despite being divorced and living separately. This involves substantial interaction between the parents, both in public and private, and only works effectively when there is communication, patience, and teamwork. You’re entirely on board with that mindset as you work through the final elements of your divorce, but since your ex isn’t or doesn’t seem to be, you often wonder how this will work.
Co-parenting can be easier said than done when navigating what is undoubtedly a turbulent and emotional time for everyone. But we can assure you that even co-parenting with a toxic ex is possible.
Let’s discuss this in today’s blog post.
6 Tips for Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex
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Ensure you have a detailed Court order
Your lawyer and the Court will always do what’s in the best interests of your children. That includes working hard to craft a co-parenting plan everyone can live with. That said, it’s essential to let them know about any lingering toxicity and your spouse’s tendencies so that whatever order they create spells out every detail and everyone’s responsibilities moving forward. Be specific regarding holidays, parenting days, where and when transfers will occur, how far in advance vacation time should be requested, and more.
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Think before you speak
You never want to fight fire with fire when co-parenting with a toxic ex. Sadly, parents lose sight of this in the heat of the moment, ultimately worsening an already challenging situation. If you need to call your ex, text them, or email them, wait until your emotions are in check.
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Focus on the plan
Another popular tip for co-parenting with a toxic ex is to only communicate about matters related to the parenting plan. Doing so keeps both parties focused and keeps ancillary conversations to a minimum.
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Use apps
To piggyback off the previous tip. Several co-parenting apps are available to help manage communication and scheduling between parents who struggle to stay on the same page.
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Kill more flies with honey
Even if your ex is toxic, you can control 100% of your behavior. Combat their antics by following the parenting plan to a T and constantly showing them respect and civility. Go further and ensure everyone in your inner circle shows similar respect. This is especially true around your children.
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Put your children first
The No. 1 tip for co-parenting with a toxic ex is to put your children first with every decision you make and every conversation you have with your spouse. At the end of the day, this co-parenting relationship isn’t about your toxic ex — or you, for that matter. It’s about creating a sense of normalcy for your children.
Please call Christman | Daniell Attorneys for your legal needs today!
Looking for family law services? Christman | Daniell Attorneys is your premier choice. With years of experience and a deep understanding of the legal landscape in cities throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth area, our skilled team is dedicated to helping families navigate complex legal matters. Whether it’s divorce, child custody, or adoption, trust Christman | Daniell Attorneys to provide compassionate and effective representation for all your family law needs.
Please consult an attorney for advice about your individual situation. The material on this website and in this or any blog article we publish are for informational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. The attorneys at Christman | Daniell Attorneys believe in tailoring legal advice and solutions to your own personal circumstances.
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