Social media is part of everyday life for most of us—including our children. After all, it’s often the best way to connect with friends and family. But when parents are divorced or separated, deciding when (or if) a child should be on social media in the first place can quickly turn into a major disagreement.
One parent may feel their child is ready, while the other worries about privacy, safety, or screen time.
So, what happens when they cannot agree?
The Bigger Picture: Best Interest of the Child
Like most issues in family law, decisions regarding social media use ultimately come down to what is in the child’s best interests. That does not mean what is easiest for the parent, or even what the child wants. It means what keeps the child safe, healthy, and emotionally supported.
If parents are in conflict, the court may need to step in and make that determination.
It is not hard to see why parents may feel differently about social media.
Some of the most common concerns include:
- Age appropriateness — Is the child mature enough to handle the responsibility?
- Safety and privacy — Who has access to their photos, location, or personal information?
- Screen time limits — How much time is too much?
- Online bullying or pressure — Will social media add stress instead of connection?
On the other hand, kids can benefit from being online if it helps them stay connected with friends, join interest-based groups, or acquire new skills. The challenge is finding balance.
Custody Agreements and Parental Rights
When parents share custody, disagreements about social media usually fall under the category of “major decisions.” Just like medical care, education, or religious upbringing, courts expect parents to either make these decisions together or defer to whoever has final decision-making authority in their custody order.
If the custody agreement stipulates that both parents must agree on major decisions and they are unable to reach an agreement, that’s where mediation—or, ultimately, the court—may be necessary.
If a judge needs to weigh in, they will consider the child’s age, maturity level, and overall well-being. They may also consider testimony, such as input from a therapist or counselor. The court’s primary concern will always be whether social media has a positive influence on the child or whether it poses risks that outweigh the benefits.
Tips for Parents To Overcome Their Disagreements
Not every disagreement has to land in court. Parents can try to:
- Set boundaries together — Agree on age limits, privacy settings, and time restrictions.
- Keep communication open — Share concerns without turning it into a power struggle.
- Put the child first — Ask what is truly best for them, not what feels like a “win” for you.
- Use mediation — A neutral third party can help parents find common ground.
Social media can feel like new territory for parents, but the same principles apply as with any other parenting decision: it is about protecting and supporting your child. Whenever possible, finding a solution together not only helps your child but also alleviates unnecessary stress for everyone.
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